Remember Me
by DianaWilson2018
Summary: Everyone has a breaking point, and Juliette Ferrars has reached hers. For the 17 years of her life, her mind and sanity have slowly decayed and after nearly a year in the asylum, Juliette is nearly broken. Now, Juliette has escaped. She has a destination, and she is determined to make it there. Can Juliette can escape what she has become? Can she remember her old self?
1. Chapter 1 – Demons in my Head

_Juliette's POV_

 _I'm not insane they're wrong about me I don't belong here let me out walls are closing in ink is moving head foggy I'm trapped somebody help me why am I here why am I cursed oh God help me they're talking to me don't want to hurt anyone didn't mean to kill him_

Juliette Ferrars, seventeen years old, was crouched in the center of the cell, face buried in her hands as she cried softly.

 _I can't do anything anymore. The voices in my head are getting louder and louder as each torturous second passes. They're screaming now, screaming at me to break free from this cell and kill everything that moves, but I don't want to. The demon inside of me is banging, trying to force me to let it out, but I won't. I don't want to kill anyone. I beg the voices to stop, pleading and crying, but this makes them even louder as they mock me and tell me to kill myself, screaming "do it do it do it!" over and over for hours on end until I break down and sob uncontrollably._

 _Whenever I close my eyes, all I see is that poor little boy, screaming as I hold his hands, pulling and kicking until he falls limp and stops moving. I can see it happening on every reflective surface in the cell — my water, the cup holding it, even that damn window. There are decomposing body parts in my food, dark silhouettes in the halls and showers, filled with cruel laughter and the angry voices of my parents teachers and classmates. I always feel hands touching me and screams of agony._

 _I have barely gotten any sleep at all during the 264 days I've been here, I haven't showered in a little over a month, and I haven't eaten anything for the past week. I've become a ghastly white bag of bones with hollow cheeks, haunted, sunken eyes with dark, almost black bags underneath them, tangled, dirty hair obscuring parts of my face._

 _What has this horrible place done to me?!_

 _I want nothing more than to die. I don't deserve to live after everything I've done. I'll never be able to live a normal life and I'll always be nothing but a threat. My only release is death. My death is the only assurance to all those innocent people the monsters in my head scream at me to kill that they will be safe from me. My life has been a living hell since the day I first opened my eyes._

 _…_

 _ **Leaving wouldn't be such a bad idea, would it?**_

Juliette looked up as the door opened, staring at the door for a long while before standing up and stumbling into the halls, malnourished and exhausted body barely even supporting her legs as she pulled herself along. Juliette had a destination, and it wasn't the showers.


	2. Chapter 2 – Escape

**A/N: :-:-: = Flashbacks. Bold/Italics = the other her talking to just her. Bold = The other half talking through her. Also, I don't own Shatter Me. Why do I keep forgetting that?!**

 _My earliest memories are the hospitals. Doctors. Examinations. Needles. I was different. Dangerous. The doctors were trying to fix me. My parents wouldn't talk to me. They wouldn't even look at me, no matter how much I cried. Throughout my life, I suffered through medications, tests, electroshock, psychological cross-examinations. But nothing worked._

 _I would never be normal. My parents hated me. They wanted a normal child, but I stood in the way. They could never hope to have more children with me around. Day after day, I tried so hard to be good, doing my chores without complaint, never fighting back, keeping my grades up, and treating everyone around me with kindness. I hoped that if I was good enough, smart enough, kind enough, everyone would change their minds about me. I hoped my parents would love me. I hoped the world would give me a chance._

 _But it never worked. I was being quiet because I was insane. I was smart because I was a psychopath. I was kind because I was trying to trick everyone._

 _Everyone always found a reason to label me as a monster. My best efforts yielded only punishment._

:-:-:

Juliette continued to stumble down the halls. She knew where the showers were, but she'd passed them and was now lost. She'd passed some of the other patients prisoners on her way. Most just ignored her, a few tried to ask her why she was going the wrong way, which Juliette ignored. It was strange… it was almost as if an invisible force was pushing her, compelling her forward.

Juliette didn't really know where she was going, but she had all the time in the world to look for the exit. She didn't care if she was lost in these halls forever. She didn't care if the soldiers came storming in to shoot her until her bullet riddled corpse hit the floor in a pool of blood.

It didn't matter anymore.

Juliette came into a room filled with light that made her eyes feel like they were being burned from their sockets and she squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing them desperately.

"Freeze!"

Juliette froze.

"Put your hands in the air!"

Juliette looked up to see two guards glaring at her through rifle scopes.

"Did you hear us? Get down on your knees!"

Juliette felt a surge of anger that felt somehow… alien.

 **How dare these people try to block us from our freedom? How dare they?!**

Not quite knowing what she was doing, Juliette grabbed on of the guns by the barrel, squeezing hard, arm completely numb at this point, and the reinforced metal crumpled like a crushed soda can. The numbness spread throughout her body and she blacked out.

-.-.-

Juliette woke up in a damp cave, confused as she tried to remember what had happened, what brought her here. Sitting up, Juliette realized that her clothes felt wetter than she last remembered and looked down, gasping in horror. Blood covered her hands in a thick sheet, splattered across her hoodie and face. Panic filled Juliette's mind and she began frantically wiping her hands of her pants, on the verge of tears.

 _Where did all this blood come from?! Whose blood is this?!_ Juliette suddenly remembered those guards and her unexplainable anger. _What happened?_

:-:-:

 _Shocked silence. Everyone in the room was surprised, which was broken as She yanked the now useless gun out of the still-stunned guard's hand, kicking him down before raising the weapon above Her head._

 _CRUNCH. The first blow landed hard and true, breaking his jaw and shattering his teeth to splinters. A shrill scream. Another blow crushed his windpipe. Choking and weak cries. Another blow broke his cheekbone and made his eye burst open. Nothing but a wet gurgle. The final blow split his skull open like an egg, the broken skull the fragile shell, the brain the yolk._

 _Silence._

 _The other guard cocked his gun and She ran at him, not flinching at the erupting gunfire as She clocked him across the head, knocking him to the ground in a pool of blood. She ran for the doors, bursting out into sunlight and continued to run, seeing the mountains and running for them. They would be a suitable hiding spot._

 _More gunshots interrupted Her thoughts. They were shooting at Her! Forcing Her legs to pump harder, She threw the gun over her shoulder as she reached the dead forest surrounding the mountain, allowing herself to be swallowed by the rotting carcasses._


End file.
